Finality

When did you decide my heart was expendable?

Why did you think I had the strength to bear this pain ?

” It’s not you it’s me” you utter matter of factly

The world drops out beneath me, i’m spinning ,whirling desperately trying to control my cascading emotions.

You tell me how hard this decision was for you, I just look back frozen in the moment , feeling the rip inside me rapidly growing into a canyon of emptiness.

You try to embrace me , saying “It’s for the best” ,it’s the first time in our history that you’ve touched me and I’ve hated the feeling.

Confusion consumes me , I want you so much with a simultaneous loathing for what you are doing to me

I’m sitting alone now , you , having said what you came here to say have left, there’s a thick unreality to the air, as if  I’ve somehow become slightly removed from the run of time.

I dare not accept the real because I know  I will crumble like the weathered carcass of an old ruin in a hurricane.

You politely broke me with your final words they replay in my head ” I’m sorry I never wanted to hurt you”

I finally manage to speak ,  fighting to supress the tears ” You failed” I whisper to your lipstick stained glass , the only evidence that you were ever here.

 

 

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