So today is a bad day , the recent gloom that i’m usually able to break out of seems evermore opressive .

As 2019 progresses I seem to go from one stressful episode to the next with little break inbetween to recover so yeah things are building up, i hoping that its not going to end with another major meltdown, although this would provide some relief it would not be in a healthy way.

To put it into words , i feel emotionally shut down , profesionally uninterested and creatively barren, i have little energy to put into anything.

This isnt the usual sort of thing i post , if youve read any of my other pieces well thats obvious , i guess im writing this in some attempt to straigten my thoughts out ( like its gonna be that easy ) .

I could quite easily abandon everything and dissapear off somewhere in the world and start over, in an ideal world this would be my plan , but like most of us this is impractical .

To resolve this gloom ridden post , i don’t feel sorry for myself i am just not in a good place mentally right now, hopefully i will get back to somewhere near normal ( well for me anyway ) and get back to the kind of writing i enjoy.