I toss and turn trying to find rest that will not come

Turning again I find myself on your side of the bed 

Now long bereft of you

The smell perfume missing from your pillow wash away by tears and time.

In this bed we found comfort

In this bed we found belonging

In this bed we found passion

In this bed we found each other

Now in my sleepless state your absence so keenly felt

No soft warn skin to curl up beside

No in-depth chatter into the small hours

No unashamed animal lust

Nothing but me and my wandering thoughts

I squeeze your pillow as if to extract a little of your latent essence

But there is nothing there

I used to watch you fall asleep, looking so peaceful and content

Then make a point of waking early , just to gaze upon your beautiful face 

as you rise from slumber

I turn my back to your empty place

If I can’t see it I can pretend you didn’t happen but the missing sound of your soft breathing

loudly breaks down my pretence

I turn again restless facing the void space where my love once lay.

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