I toss and turn trying to find rest that will not come
Turning again I find myself on your side of the bed
Now long bereft of you
The smell perfume missing from your pillow wash away by tears and time.
In this bed we found comfort
In this bed we found belonging
In this bed we found passion
In this bed we found each other
Now in my sleepless state your absence so keenly felt
No soft warn skin to curl up beside
No in-depth chatter into the small hours
No unashamed animal lust
Nothing but me and my wandering thoughts
I squeeze your pillow as if to extract a little of your latent essence
But there is nothing there
I used to watch you fall asleep, looking so peaceful and content
Then make a point of waking early , just to gaze upon your beautiful face
as you rise from slumber
I turn my back to your empty place
If I can’t see it I can pretend you didn’t happen but the missing sound of your soft breathing
loudly breaks down my pretence
I turn again restless facing the void space where my love once lay.