A creeping fog of blackness , kept bound , at bay at the back of my mind for so long now.

Writhing ,twisting, slowly over time working its bindings loose, waiting for that final knot to slip free.

All this time drip fed the negative thoughts , suppressed pain, it plans for its next inevitable terrible reign .

Clawing, chipping ,digging it starts to dismantle those walls so carefully built since it was last banished to the nether world of my subconscious .

Free now to gorge on every damn shit thing from the past ,the present , it starts to cloud the future dimming that bright light infecting it with the rotten , despairing thoughts that I believed long dead, buried, turned to dust.

I fought this battle once before long ago I was younger, stronger had belief that no matter what I would be victorious . But now i’m old the vigor of youth long drained , the sharp blade of faith now rusty and dulled.

What will I fight it with now I fear there is nothing left of me hope diminished , light dimmed , strength withered .

There is no victory this time , just resigned acceptance that this eternal internal battle will rage until it consumes both sides of me .